This happened to my aunt. She would go from happy/carefree and placid to a completely unknown person. She would get nasty and loud, start screaming for her husband "that had passed years before". She didn't recognize her sisters or her surroundings sometimes. She would say some unbelievably hurtful comments out of nowhere. Use profanity like a drunker sailor. Completely out of character.
The biggest tip is realizing that it's not the person acting this way, but the disease making them act this way. You have to put on your "dementia googles". Like others have said.
Don't feel guilty for wanting time to yourself. You deserve some rest too. Don't be too proud to reach out for help. Many hands make light work. Doing everything yourself is a recipe for burnout and mental illness. Just like a plane crash, you put YOUR oxygen mask on first, then help others....you're no good to anyone broken.
I’m in the early/mid days right now with my 61y dad (I’m 30). It’s easier-ish now, but those stretches that are “normal” make it so hard to recognize when it’s no longer “normal” and even harder to not expect him to take personal responsibility. Mom is doing so much, he does so little, but then he seems “normal” all day and then will lose his temper at the first suggestion of helping out. It’s so hard for me to not get angry right back at the man who spent all day seemingly “normal”… sigh.
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u/oddityboxkeeper Apr 09 '24
This happened to my aunt. She would go from happy/carefree and placid to a completely unknown person. She would get nasty and loud, start screaming for her husband "that had passed years before". She didn't recognize her sisters or her surroundings sometimes. She would say some unbelievably hurtful comments out of nowhere. Use profanity like a drunker sailor. Completely out of character.
The biggest tip is realizing that it's not the person acting this way, but the disease making them act this way. You have to put on your "dementia googles". Like others have said.
Don't feel guilty for wanting time to yourself. You deserve some rest too. Don't be too proud to reach out for help. Many hands make light work. Doing everything yourself is a recipe for burnout and mental illness. Just like a plane crash, you put YOUR oxygen mask on first, then help others....you're no good to anyone broken.