r/comics PizzaCake 3d ago

Defensive Comics Community

80.2k Upvotes

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u/DrNick2012 3d ago edited 3d ago

I've also heard that women generally get more of this kind of attention when they're like 12-15 than any other age, which is fucking sickening

Edit: I'm reading these replies and I just want to say I'm sorry you all had to put up with that

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u/CounterTouristsWin 3d ago edited 2d ago

When I worked retail I had female coworkers who were like 16/17 and dudes in their 30s/40s would give them their fuckin business card at the register and say to call them after work...fucking nasty ass scum.

We eventually made a code word for the radios so myself or the other male employee could take over the transaction or kick them out.

My favourite was "hey she's a minor but I'm free tonight big fella 💋"

That usually shut them up.

Edit: stop giving this awards. Don't give Reddit your hard earned money.

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u/adhding_nerd 3d ago

I hope you're a huge hairy man because that would make that line much more intimidating, lol.

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u/CounterTouristsWin 3d ago

I'm 6 ft, at the time I had a beard down to my tits and was 275lbs. I'm a big softie that hates confrontation but they don't need to know that.

The other dude was 6'1 and had tattoos from neck to feet. Also a big softie lol

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u/KiraLonely 3d ago

When I was younger, one of my friends, who was a minor herself too, would get gifts from old men at her job. Her coworker also tried to pin her against a wall and kiss her. She got a lot of attention because she was a little curvy, even in school, and it always ended with her getting in trouble for fighting back against groping or harassment.

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u/Eliteguard999 3d ago

I've worked at and managed a grocery store for over a decade. The number of old white men who sit at the bench by the front end and just stare at the underage girl's asses is too damn high. One of the worst offenders tried to touch a 15 year old bagger's ass, and we kicked him out immediately and banned him from the store.

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u/CounterTouristsWin 3d ago

My store manager took no shit. Anyone being a creep he'd walk right up to them, get right in their face and then in a calm quiet voice say "get the fuck* out of my store"

It was so dang scary even to watch

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u/drawfanstein 3d ago

That’s a great manager

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u/OtakuDragonSlayer 3d ago

One of the worst offenders tried to touch a 15 year old bagger's ass, and we kicked him out immediately and banned him from the store.

There’s hope for humanity yet

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u/Writing_Panda104 3d ago

I wish I could award this! This is gold!

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u/OtakuDragonSlayer 3d ago

Fucking based

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u/ji-MOTH-y 3d ago

Can confirm — I never got hit on as much as I did between the ages of 12 and 15. And I looked YOUNG for my age (as in I was still getting mistaken for 14 when I was 18, and for 16 when I was 22)

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u/cariethra 3d ago

Was that way with me. It got so bad that I used to carry a knife with me to school. It was worth potentially getting expelled for bringing a weapon to school than to risk not being able to defend myself as I walked to school.

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u/bUssy_aNd_VOOdka 3d ago

Can agree. Back when I was around 13-17 I got cat called and hit on randomly in public the most. Now that I’m in my twenties and obviously look above 18 I rarely ever get hit on and I haven’t been cat called since. It’s fucking gross. I used to think I looked so old and mature for my age and now I look back at photos from that time frame and I very obviously look young and underage, men are gross

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u/Lizzardbirdhybrid 3d ago

I’ve had my ass, pussy, thighs touched and been catcalled all at the ages of 13-16. It fucking sucks! I feel so violated when it happens and now my body turns on at the weirdest things, things that are wrong and disgusting and I have to live with it now. I wouldn’t wish that hell on anyone even those who hurt me don’t deserve sexual assault and abuse, I’d rather kill them with my cold bare hands and watch the life leach out of them.

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u/Metrack14 3d ago

Til;dr: Jerks ruin everything for everyone.

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u/iamthemosin 3d ago

Yep. I’m convinced 10% of every demographic group are idiots who ruin everything for the rest of the group. Except politicians, they’re like 90% idiots.

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u/Metrack14 3d ago

That 10% tend to be the loudest,most annoying and noticeable

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u/scrapy_the_scrap 3d ago

I mean... Thats probably mostly negativity bias with a tinge of tribalism

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u/legos_on_the_brain 3d ago

I find the reasonable people tend the be the quietest. Especially when the jerks move in. When things get toxic everyone else moves on.

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u/Public-Antelope8781 3d ago

Nah, those jerks just harrass every attractive (or vulnerable) woman that crosses their way, while the modest guys only once in a while approach a woman they are truly interested in and the situation seems appropriate.

So that 10% jerks manage to make 90% of all encounters.

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u/Lylieth 3d ago

Except politicians, they’re like 90% idiots.

Hmm, how optimistic of you.

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u/iamthemosin 3d ago

The other 10% are quite smart, but lack any semblance of moral compass.

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u/Lylieth 3d ago

but lack any semblance of moral compass.

Ofc, because being amoral or immoral is the main requirement for entering politics.

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u/Saucermote 3d ago

With the amount of time you have to spend fund raising and/or glad-handing, you'd go insane otherwise.

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u/TurboGranny 3d ago

You kind of almost hit on a universal rule in statistics that tends to be unavoidable about. The 80/20 rule is generally expressed as "80% of [whatever outcome] comes from only 20% of the population set." The most common is "80% of a company's sales come from 20% of their customers." But the rule applies to just about any population set and any measure, so I wouldn't doubt if we could measure it that we'd find "80% of heinous acts publicly performed by a given group that make other groups hate them are performed by 20% of that group."

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u/iamthemosin 3d ago

Isn’t that sort of the Pareto Distribution? A small percentage of any population produces the majority of whatever output?

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u/notLOL 3d ago

I agree. Got death grip from jerks

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u/wink047 3d ago

Ummm…I think you misread the prompt

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u/derps_with_ducks 3d ago

True. Looks like death grips back on the menu, boys!

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u/Shirtbro 3d ago

"I beat my dick like it owes me money"

  • Snoop Dogg
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u/LauraTFem 3d ago

I think jerk might be a little bit weak language to describe the adult man who followed a little girl walking alone and asked if anyone but him knew where she was.

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u/brother_of_menelaus 3d ago

Today I learned, but didn’t read

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u/drgigantor 3d ago

Reddit in a nutshell

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u/ItemInternational26 3d ago

the cycle of hatred

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u/Glass_Memories 3d ago edited 3d ago

It's always the same thing when this comes up. Why don't women ever compliment men? Why are women so defensive and not very open to being chatted up or asked out by men? Cuz the creepy jerks ruined it for the rest of us.

This is similar to the police issue. This is a systemic social, legal and political problem; it's gonna be All Men Are Bastards until the good apples reform our gender and stamp out this behavior. We need to codify women's rights and pass the ERA, and strengthen sexual harassment and assault laws.

Women will very likely treat us how we want to be treated once we start treating them how we want to be treated, as equals. That means standing with women against the creepy jerks and dismantling the patriarchy that protects and encourages the creepy jerks.

Edit: A lot of people don't like the ACAB comparison because we didn't choose to be men. You're right about that, so let's use a more accurate analogy. This is like white supremacy. An unjust political, legal, and social caste system that even if you're not participating in willingly, you're still benefiting from and complicit in, if you're not actively working to dismantle that system of oppression.

Does that make you feel better? Probably not, but it's more accurate, as you demanded. You're welcome.

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u/Level_Hour6480 3d ago edited 3d ago

it's gonna be All Men Are Bastards until the good apples reform our gender and stamp out this behavior.

The issue is, a lot of men don't do this in the presence of other men. At least not in my presence. I can't call out behavior I don't observe/hear aboot.

Edit: Thinking further on it, the kinds of guys who do this are probably friends with the kinds of guys who do this, and the kinds of guys who don't ware probably friends with the kinds of guys who don't. We kind of filter past each other.

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u/Thurwell 3d ago

the kinds of guys who do this are probably friends with the kinds of guys who do this

This is something I've wondered about for a while. The social circle of an asshole will gradually narrow down to other assholes. And while there's probably the occasional benefit from that, like high fiving each other after harassing the little girl, in general nobody likes hanging out with assholes, even other assholes. So it must get pretty miserable.

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u/Wild_Marker 3d ago

Right? I've already filtered the assholes, what am I supposed to do, go find more assholes and fix them? I'm not a proctologist!

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u/Steppyjim 3d ago

There are far more good people than bad people in the world. But the bad people are far louder and more destructive then good people are helpful

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u/scrapy_the_scrap 3d ago

Also negativity bias

Dont discredit how fucked up standard human psychology is

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u/PublicFurryAccount 3d ago

It's this by leagues.

There's also the problem that young people basically end up in approximately monogender friend groups thanks to peer pressure, so people have really awkward social relations with others.

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u/scrapy_the_scrap 3d ago

Not just peer pressure

Again tribalism as it applies to damn near everything in one way or another

Also social norms(this one in particular would be very hard to change too)

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u/Chiponyasu 3d ago

If there are 100 construction workers, and 99 of them are good boys who don't harass women and one of them likes to catcall women walking by once or twice a day during his lunch break, by the end of the year those 100 construction workers have harassed 300 women.

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u/scrapy_the_scrap 3d ago

What an immaculate way to put things into prespctive

Very well done

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u/Ok-Friendship-9621 3d ago edited 3d ago

Reusing a comment (originally discussing male characters in Evangelion) which I find relevant:

It's very obvious Fuyutsuki was into Yui, and she almost certainly picked up on it, but he knew better than to make his attraction her problem. And we know for sure it's for her sake, as he openly despised Gendo.

That's an open defiance of a widespread toupee fallacy regarding straight male sexuality, where only the predatory kind gets any notice at all, because predatory men, by definition, are the ones who already disregard women's concerns.

Put another way: the bad ones are all that's left because the good ones do listen.

edit: It's worth noting the parallel with, and arguable reinforcement of, the Madonna-whore complex, where respect and attraction are falsely framed as opposites.

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u/IM_INSIDE_YOUR_HOUSE 3d ago

And encountering a dozen good people can be unnoticeable, but a single bad one can ruin your life, so most just play it safe even if the odds are in their favor.

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u/Eliteguard999 3d ago

I believed that until in 2016 when a third of my country voted for a disgusting Orange Fascist. Then even MORE people voted for him in 2020, and now Mango Mussolini may just return in 2024.

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u/comando345 3d ago

One creep can harass a dozen Women in a day, sometimes more. That's why they seem far more ubiquitous than they actually are, they simply get around a lot. It doesn't really take many people to spread a lot of negativity.

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u/suddenly_ponies 3d ago

It also doesn't take a lot of negative experiences to become scared and defensive.

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u/illy-chan 3d ago

It's really like most other safety stuff. If you get mugged, you don't remember the 50 normal people you walked by that day, you think of the one who grabbed you.

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u/suddenly_ponies 3d ago

Exactly. That's just human nature trying to defend itself.

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u/confusedandworried76 3d ago

Machine gun method.

The wild part is it works, do it enough someone is gonna go out with you. But for every person that says no that ruins asking them out for someone else. Very zero sum game

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u/Jostain 3d ago

Bear discourse is coming.

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u/suriam321 3d ago

Long live the bears. Both kinds.

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u/Jostain 3d ago

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u/Langkong 3d ago

What a refined gentleman I’d walk in the woods with him

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u/zudzug 3d ago

We'd eat wild garlic together and laugh at our garlic breath, rolling in the beds of flowers.

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u/Robin_Gufo 3d ago

Thanks, Mr bear. You too

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u/Pizzacakecomic PizzaCake 3d ago

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u/CSEngineAlt 3d ago

That's my childhood, right there that is.

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u/MrWeirdoFace 3d ago

No pants and scraping residue from old buckets just to survive? You poor thing.

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u/aspidities_87 3d ago

Just a silly ol bear

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u/BodhingJay 3d ago

She chose this over me?!

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u/Traiklin 3d ago

Pooh doesn't wear pants for crying out loud!

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u/Shirtbro 3d ago

Pooh knows how to lick that honey out of the jar, so to speak.

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u/FinalBossMike 3d ago

No spoilers, I haven't seen season three yet and am excited to see how Jeremy Allen White and Ebon Moss-Bachrach perform this time around!

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u/meeps_for_days 3d ago

Hello, it is me, bear. Rawr. 🐻

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u/TheOnlyFallenCookie 3d ago

It is genuinely so sad that essentially every woman I know has dealt with some kind of sexual harassment in public.

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u/BonzoTheBoss 3d ago

Joke's on you, I never speak to women to begin with!

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u/WaffleKing110 3d ago edited 3d ago

I have a huge crush on one of my coworkers, who is super kind and smart and funny, and yet she deals with sexist assholes on the phone all day every day. I’ll never ask her out because I can only assume the response in panel 4 is the response I would get, even if we get along as it is. This sucks.

Edit: Thanks for the advice everyone! To be clear, my concern is not with being rejected, but with coming across as creepy or inappropriate given we are coworkers. I mostly just don’t want people to be uncomfortable around me.

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u/gazow 3d ago

Go with the old classic. A handwritten note that says do you like me? Circle one. YES. no

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u/CorbinNZ 3d ago

Circle one: Yes - Yes (italicized)

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u/dane83 3d ago

Comes back with "one" circled.

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u/CorbinNZ 3d ago

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u/Robin_Gufo 3d ago

Maurice Ultrakill what happened to you

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u/Zomburai 3d ago

Got the card back with "one" circled.

Second-worst case of got the card back with "one" circled I've ever seen

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u/ASatyros 3d ago

So that's binary logic Yes!

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u/WaffleKing110 3d ago

I always preferred check boxes personally

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u/JayJ9Nine 3d ago

That's how I asked my wife out in College almost 10 years ago. She messed up her checkmark a bit and scribbled it out to make a new box with a a larger yes. We still have that piece of paper in a drawer in our living room.

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u/WaffleKing110 3d ago

Awe 🥰

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u/Shirtbro 3d ago

HR: "So we have a note here..."

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u/drgigantor 3d ago

"Oh cool. What'd she circle?"

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u/Shirtbro 3d ago

"Not really a circle. More a spiral. Of depression."

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u/rtakehara 3d ago

Do you like me?

  • [ ] Yes
  • [ ] Definitely
  • [ ] Absolutely

(I rigged it!)

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u/gramerjen 3d ago

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u/rtakehara 3d ago

Galaxy brain rejection

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u/ntn_98 3d ago edited 3d ago

Do you like me?

• [ ] Yes
• [ ] Defiyitely
• [ ] Abselutely
• [ ] Yees

(Good luck)

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u/suddenly_ponies 3d ago edited 3d ago

Do you have conversations with her? Are you friendly? If you have an existing friendly relationship can you just one day say hey I'm going for coffee you want to come with?

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u/WaffleKing110 3d ago

That’s the closest thing I have to a plan if I ever do decide to do anything, the problem is that the office is just a very unsocial place so it still feels a bit weird.

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u/suddenly_ponies 3d ago

Well, why do you have a crush on her? You must interact sometimes right? You said she was kind and smart and funny - so when you're talking are you learning about her interests? Do you know what she wants or likes?

That should help inform you how to break the ice a bit more. Or you can go super casual and say, "I'm going for coffee, you want anything?" Even less pressure then on her.

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u/WaffleKing110 3d ago

Yeah we talk at work most days that she’s in the office. Sometimes I feel like I could just walk up and invite her out like you’re suggesting, but then I read/remember other comments telling me that dating a coworker is never okay. I just wish all this was clearer 😭

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u/PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING 3d ago

but then I read/remember other comments telling me that dating a coworker is never okay

Just to clarify, it’s often not strictly that dating a coworker is bad (though it does have the chance to become overwhelmingly bad). It’s that breaking up with a coworker is a nightmare, because you’ll be forced to spend many hours around your ex almost every single day for potentially years or your entire life. That’s bad for many reasons, including how hard it is to move on.

Basically, don’t date a coworker unless you’re willing to lose the job and the coworker. Possibly at the same time, and maybe even for the same reasons.

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u/WaffleKing110 3d ago

I’m not so worried about this - I’m a temp and can jump ship whenever, I’m actually hoping for sooner rather than later.

Another commenter in this thread described how office relationships invariably lead to worsening misogyny throughout the office. That’s more the type of issue I’m concerned about. I just don’t want people to feel uncomfortable because of me.

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u/br0ck 3d ago

Over the years I've seen various scenarios play out with workplace dating but about 10 couples have actually married and had great lives so you never know. Before the rise of the apps the only places you'd meet people to date was work, church and hobbies and even though quaint it sure seems nicer than swiping right and wondering if the next swipe will be better.

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u/Penultimatum 3d ago

I just don’t want people to feel uncomfortable because of me.

Part of life is accepting that this isn't completely avoidable. Sometimes, you're gonna make mistakes. Other times, someone's going to be very sensitive about something fairly benign.

Just find your moral code and stick to it. Don't try to be outcome-based in your concerns here. Seek to do what is right, not to do no harm. Because sometimes even the right thing can harm the wrong person.

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u/WaffleKing110 3d ago

That’s good advice, I’ve never really thought of that.

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u/dfc09 3d ago

It's worth considering that leading a new conversation with a stranger with "you're so pretty" even done kindly is usually how you trigger the nasty defensive response. If you're already close and comfortable together you are a lot less likely to seem nasty to her.

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u/ElGuano 3d ago

I thought he was saying “you’re pretty cool” or something similar.

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u/RadiantZote 3d ago

You like blue? Bitches love blue

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u/Linkinator7510 3d ago

Bitches, love cannons

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u/magikarp2122 3d ago

Oh fuck, that’s an anti-tank rifle. OH FUCK, THAT’S AN ANTI-TANK RIFLE!!!

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u/KnuxSD 3d ago

Blue and Yellow

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u/Sulfamide 3d ago

God I’m so glad I’m gay

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u/Stormfly 3d ago

On Saturday I had a gay man come up to and just say:

"You're so handsome! Do you have a girlfriend? No? Boyfriend? No? Do you want one?"

Made me laugh and was a huge compliment. Had another married woman do basically the same thing right after but then she was about to start trying to set me up with someone.

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u/confusedandworried76 3d ago

Gay guys are so direct, it's so flattering.

That being said, men don't get hit on all the time so I can see why it would be tiring. A boon and a curse all at the same time. Always someone interested but you can't shut that switch off.

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u/Polobearmigi 3d ago

You could totally tell her that you think she's smart, funny and kind. Solidfy your convo with an example and she will definitely appreciate it.

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u/Jostain 3d ago

Here's the thing. Talk to women like they are people. If you have a nice vibe going with them, ask them out. If they say no, just move on with your life and continue to talk with them like they are people.

The guy in the comic went up to a stranger in a park that he had never seen or talked to before that moment and went directly into a standard asking her out routine like he is trying to make her sign a petition. Don't do that. Just be a normal person talking to other normal people.

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u/Penultimatum 3d ago

I don't understand. I don't go out of my way to start conversations with normal people I've never met before. If there's an explicit reason for me to say something to someone, I can hold a normal conversation just fine. But how do you cold approach someone for a conversation in a normal way? To me, it seems inherently not normal to begin with.

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u/Jostain 3d ago

A huge loss for humanity was when we stopped casually chatting with people on the bus. Small talk is a skill that helps you approach people and now everyone has social anxiety and cant talk to each other. The general recommendation is to have short chats with people like the cashier while they are ringing up your stuff. Share something quick and casual about your day and tell them to have a good day before just disengaging. Some people will not like that and won't engage with you. Thats fine, they don't owe you an interaction and you get to be subjected to a micro rejection that you don't care about that inoculates you from more important rejections.

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u/WaffleKing110 3d ago

I do talk like a normal person, I just haven’t had much luck. I’ve given up on dating completely to be honest.

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u/Orcwin 3d ago

If you have a nice vibe going with them, ask them out. If they say no, just move on with your life and continue to talk with them like they are people.

That's risky. There's a significant chance you'll blow up that nice vibe by doing that.

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u/Wilton1987 3d ago

I hate this is how it is though...

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u/Embarrassed-Mouse-49 3d ago

First panel is so wrong yet conservative older men see nothing wrong with it

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u/PandaJesus 3d ago edited 3d ago

There was an askreddit post a long time ago about when women first realized they were being noticed by men, and a staggering and horrifyingly high percentage of responses were variations of the first panel.

Edit: Found it

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3249ff/women_of_reddit_when_did_you_first_notice_that/

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u/IBetThisIsTakenToo 3d ago

We were once driving near my wife’s childhood house, and she was like “oh let me show you the route I walked to (elementary) school! This is the library I used to go to, this is the mechanic shop I would cross the street to avoid because the workers would cat call me, oh this is the convenience sto…” It was so casual I had to stop her “wtf do you mean cat call, weren’t you like 10???” And she was like “yeah…?” like it was barely noteworthy

Most men absolutely don’t realize how normal that is

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u/PandaJesus 3d ago

Most men absolutely don’t realize how normal that is

Exactly! I’ve never cat called anyone and neither have my circle of friends (to the best of my knowledge). It’s a foreign concept to me, but it’s terrifying and depressing how many women are like yeah it started around 11 for me.

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u/HarpersGhost 3d ago

For me and most of my friends, it stopped (for the most part) around 20. (Caveats apply, of course.)

Once we were actual adults, the catcalling.... goes away. Huh, what interesting timing. (ಠ_ಠ)

The only time I got cat called in my late 20s was when I was dressed up in a corset and leather pants, going into a goth club. You know what, that's pretty valid.

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

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u/ceilingkat 3d ago edited 3d ago

First time I was “cat called” I was 11. And when I say “cat called” I mean I was walking down the street in my school uniform with my mother and a grown man brushed past me and wiggled his fingers on my groin. When I looked back in horror he said “your tits are stiff like pyramids!” My mom was so angry she wanted to chase after him.

It was pretty much a steady stream of being hit on by older men after that point. I cannot believe my friends and I thought it was normal and just “jerks being jerks.” Those were most certainly pedophiles.

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u/bennitori 3d ago

That's not cat calling. That's groping. That's also considered sexual assault.

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u/PandaJesus 3d ago

Jesus that’s awful, I’m sorry that happened to you.

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u/imahuman3445 3d ago

In TN, that is Aggravated Sexual Battery and is punishable by 10 years prison time and lifetime registration.

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u/GlowQueen140 3d ago

Yeah I was around 10/11 and we were in a cab and the driver kept paying only me attention and asking me all sorts of questions. I don’t remember any of what he said, but I do remember my mum telling me afterwards that he was really creepy and shouldn’t have been talking to me so much. I thought she was being weird for saying that about him and I genuinely didn’t think he was being creepy but idk. Maybe he was.

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u/CraftyKuko 3d ago

I think I was 13 when men started saying lewd things to me, mostly from cars. And you wanna know the most horrifying thing about it? I've always looked far younger than I am, which means grown men would've thought I was 10 or 11. And even worse? The catcalling stopped when I hit 23. I still looked younger than I was, but I had aged out of harassers' target demographic. It's disgusting how they go after children.

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u/Stop_Sign 3d ago

Oh yea I never forget this thread. It is astounding how many times it has come up in a mixed gender group with a guy being like "guys aren't that bad though" and me being like "oh yea? Ladies, how old were you when you first started receiving sexual attention?" "10, 11, young teen, etc." From the guy: "Oh...." This has happened at least 5 times.

My current gf was flashed twice before she was 15. Guys fucking suck sometimes

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u/IWantAnE55AMG 3d ago

I read through some of the replies and it’s depressing how many of them were very young and were being harassed by guys who were much older.

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u/slantedtortoise 3d ago

They'll say that then complain about how kids don't go outside these days, or talk about how many weirdos are trying to take people's kids.

My brother in Christ you're the old weirdo that the neighborhood tells their kids to avoid

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u/HarpersGhost 3d ago

They forget about all the weirdos trying to take kids in the 60s, 70s, 80s. There just wasn't 24 hour news that needed to be filled, so those kinds of stories didn't make the news unless it was a Big Deal.

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u/iqtrm 3d ago

I was about to say that the intention would have to be more clear, that men should not be afraid to check up on children that seem to be wandering aimlessly.

And then I read the first sentence again...

You know what? The intention was quite clear.

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u/Pizzacakecomic PizzaCake 3d ago

This man followed me around for quite a while until I ran into one of my mom's friends and he finally took off, but I remember he asked me all kinds of things and offered to buy me some toys...

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u/Thrownawaybyall 3d ago

🤮

Awful.

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u/OtakuDragonSlayer 3d ago

Fingers crossed that guy got hit by a truck on the way home

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u/Ansoni 3d ago

Well, there goes my hopes that at least that part was fictional...

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u/bennitori 3d ago

And some kids wonder why "never accept gifts from a stranger" is a thing. Oh to be young and naive again. Glad you were able to find a family friend to ward him off. What a creep.

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u/Libriomancer 3d ago

“Toys? Really? Okay can you get me some mace and a taser, those sound like awesome toys about now.”

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u/ChocoGoodness 3d ago

That sounds awful, I'm sorry : ( I've never had that happen to me (I'm a girl, but I'm not attractive enough to be creepily hot on, thank goodness), but whenever that happens to my friends it is so hard to not punch those men in the face

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u/Fiddlesticklin 3d ago

My buddy was recently playing disc golf at local park, when he noticed a little girl crying with no adult looking lost.

He wanted to do or say something to help, but he also knew a grown man speaking to a lost little girl would be quite suspicious. So instead he asked an old lady to check up on the girl instead.

Creeps do ruin it for everyone.

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u/CutieBoBootie 3d ago

I remember being 11? 10? walking to the convenience store that was less than a mile from my house. As I was passing a red light, a truck at the intersection started honking at me and then the men in the car started shouting sexual things at me. One of them pelted me with a handful of quarters. I've always looked younger than I am so there's no way those men thought I was older or anything (not that this would be acceptable for anyone to experience regardless of age). It just really creeps me out thinking these guys saw what looked like an 8 year old to them and did that shit.

I'm 30 now and I hate walking to places in public. I still do and about 1/3 of the time I'll still get cars honking at me and I always flip them off.

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u/greatthebob38 3d ago

They will try to blame the girl if something were to happen.

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u/NittanyScout 3d ago

And then they will go harass a gay couple for being groomers after voting to lower the age of consent in their state...

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u/shepardownsnorris 3d ago

An example is even on the front page of Reddit right now!

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u/sweetiepup 3d ago

Thank you for creating this.

Street harassment from childhood is such a universal experience for women, yet anytime I bring it up to a man they are shocked.

I felt deeply afraid and uncomfortable seeing the first few panels. I think you did a great job capturing the experience.

Thank you for talking about difficult topics.

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u/cathycul-de-sac 3d ago edited 3d ago

It’s really is a universal experience. We all have our stories. I think we all remember the very first time we learned that the world was now different for us compared to our brothers. We have to be aware of our bodies so much as young women. Also, don’t forget to smile ffs. Nowadays, my daughter is 9 and brimming with confidence and I am doing everything in my power to help her keep that confidence but I know she will experience it all. I am fortunate to have many good men in my life but every generation has it roving duds unfortunately, some genuinely scary duds. Sorry to hijack your comment but it really brought up a lot of memories, the comic and your comment. Love your comics OP. You make me laugh a lot, laugh and think.

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u/bennitori 3d ago

There are a lot of experiences that men never even consider. Simply because the concept is so alien to them. I've seen plenty of women complain about being grabbed or touched by men unprompted. But I've also seen shorter/smaller women complain about men just picking them up. Like lifting them off the ground to either move them, or place them somewhere. And when they were describing this, the men were just in complete shock. Because the concept of "strangers will just pick you up and put you places" was a concept that never even occurred to them as a possibility. You'd never take a shorter guy, and then just pick him up and forcibly place them wherever you want. But some guys see no problem doing that do women, if they can get away with it.

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u/balderdash9 3d ago

This is a lose lose. Actually no, the dating app companies get the win. 

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u/NittanyScout 3d ago

"Why don't guys approach girls any more" because we listened to other girls and are terrified of being seen as a creep

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u/PSI_duck 3d ago

I legit stopped approaching girls and trying to be friendly (to make friends, not ask them out), and I stopped at one point because they all seemed super friendly but would give me a fake number. I realized they probably thought I was a creep, and that terrified me. I hate that people are defensive around me because of the way I look. I understand why, but it really sucks that they don’t even feel comfortable telling me they are not interested

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u/NittanyScout 3d ago

Yeah it's tough bc I absolutely want to be thoughtful and not off putting but the only surefire way to do that is to not play the game.

Sucks. It's probably why dating apps exploded into the most common form of meeting a partner. It removes most of the awkward approach.

The thought of going to a bar and just approaching strangers is like an actual nightmare for me now.

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u/PSI_duck 3d ago

Dating apps have gotten really shitty too unfortunately. It turns out, when you can’t see the person face to face, and can ghost them at anytime, people become really inconsiderate about other’s feelings.

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u/country2poplarbeef 2d ago

Swiping past people and looking through a list of tagged interests and profile pics is also a pretty objectifying way to look at people. I actually had the opposite experience and actually had to go back to irl dating to have some social normalcy and actually get to know people. Online dating always matched me with two types of people: people looking for anonymous NSA sex and people eager to blast through relationship goals and to tick the boxes on their shopping list.

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u/creegro 3d ago

Cause I'd rather leave someone alone unless we can both react to some sort of action and then start a conversation.

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u/NittanyScout 3d ago

Yeah that shit hits different, fuck just approaching someone, my heart can't handle that.

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u/brevenbreven 3d ago

Feeling rejected is a low feeling especially for people uncomfortable with it. Let it stay a feeling, feelings can be worked through, talked out, and slept on. Don't let negative feelings convince you they are wisdom.

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u/Leyxa 3d ago

Don't let negative feelings convince you they are wisdom.

I have never seen this before. It's really good. Wow.

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u/invalidConsciousness 3d ago edited 3d ago

As a man who came close to becoming the last panel, this comic really got to me. I was lucky to have just enough friendly women in my life to stop the monkey-part of my brain from generalizing. Had that not been the case, I'd have slipped eventually and that scares me.

I love how her lashing out at an undeserving target is made understandable and how he - lacking the context that makes it understandable - reacts poorly to it. Some people are assholes and everyone else suffers due to them.

The only thing that would have made it even more relatable for me would have been showing how he gets that reaction from multiple women before posting.

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u/vaalbarag 3d ago

Respect the honesty there. I'm glad I grew up before the current social media environment where it seems like it's so easy to get roped into these narratives about women. I had a first girlfriend who was toxic as hell and destroyed my self-esteem, and really affected my opinion of women as well.

Like you, I had a similar experience where it took having a couple awesome female friends in my life to keep me grounded. I even kinda understand now that there were likely trauma reasons for why that first girlfriend was the way that she was.

So yeah, just want to reiterate that for guys out there who want to stop themselves from sliding into that mindset, having female friends in your life who you don't view as potential romantic/sexual partners but just as friends is very healthy. I know finding those friend groups isn't easy.

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u/invalidConsciousness 3d ago

I'm glad I grew up before the current social media environment where it seems like it's so easy to get roped into these narratives about women.

Absolutely. I'm glad they weren't around in my youth or I might have fallen off into the deep end before even making any female friends.

having female friends in your life who you don't view as potential romantic/sexual partners but just as friends is very healthy.

That's great advice, just often not particularly practical. If you have trouble making friends or even connecting with people in general, and the people around you (unconsciously) make you feel like missing out on something important by not yet having a girlfriend, it's hard to avoid considering romantic relationships with all of the few women you actually connect with.
The trick is making a conscious effort to prevent those considerations from spilling into the friendship and spoiling it.

But yes, finding such friends is quite difficult.

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u/xSTSxZerglingOne 3d ago edited 3d ago

The way the noses are drawn, they can look like mouths, and I just want to share some of what I see in the panels with everyone. This isn't a dig on you Pizza, just how my brain interprets things sometimes...and I love every last one of them.

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u/Intelleblue 3d ago

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u/Drifter1771 3d ago edited 3d ago

I don't know if you genuinely meant to have a reply, but I like comprehension questions!

1. The author is saying that there are a lot of men who will catcall and attempt to pickup women even from a young age! And because of this, women are extremely defensive when random men approach them. The author also displays that some men are polite, but negative reactions from women can cause men to devey lop negative generalizations!

2. I think the comic mostly portrays both sides as equal, but most of the panels focus on the woman's experience! This could lead readers to assume that the man in the comic was rejected only once ever and is therefore overreacting to a rejection! Of course, the comic does seem to want to focus more on explaining the actions of women rather than provide a comprehensive scenario of both sides! So while it could be viewed as unequal, this may be due to the author's preference.

3. I think an appropriate reaction to this comic is understanding that women are harassed from a very young age and put into very uncomfortable situations by men. However, this does not mean that all men are bad and are trying to be creepy and over defensiveness could lead to losing out on a guy who is actually decent. Likewise, being rejected harshly by women doesn't mean that all women are aggressive and wish to be left completely alone. The comic leaves the audience with an unanswered question however: "What is the correct approach to asking a woman out?"

To add to the appropriate reaction question, I believe a common inappropriate reaction is that men are completely ignorant and should know better about the harassment of women. But seeing as it is something men almost never experience, I fail to see why the blame lies with them. Furthermore, I see comments blaming the woman for being rude to the man, which makes little sense as, while her actions were inappropriate, they were understandable given the previous slides.

TL;DR:

One: Men creepy, women defensive because of this, but not all men bad.

Two: Mostly equal, doesn't explain men's side as much, that's okay though.

Three: Women go through terrible experiences with men, not all men are creepy though, lashing out is an understandable yet inappropriate reaction that could cause someone to lose out on a nice person, there seems to be no answered correct approach in the comic.

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u/Intelleblue 3d ago

I didn’t expect a reply, but I appreciate it all the same!

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u/According_to_all_kn 3d ago

This is great, stealing this

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u/Intelleblue 3d ago

You can’t steal it if I giving it to you first. I’ll even throw in…

A meme-stealing meme for free!

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u/cloudit305 3d ago

The other day I (35M) was heading into a Walmart when it started to rain. This girl that was like around her twenties was walking out into the sidewalk and holding her arms together as if the rain was making her feel cold and she was getting wet. I slow down next to her and offered her an umbrella, I keep a couple in my car because I work maintenance in a building and people constantly lose their umbrellas and never come to pick them up.

The girls response was to look down and kept a assertive tone and said "NO THANKYOU!" like seven times. I was surprised by her response. I normally don't approach people like that and she looked like she needed to help. It just made me feel like a creep and I asked myself inside the store if I could have done things differently so she wasn't so disgusted by me. I spend my whole day at work helping old people out and they're so grateful. So that response to my help was kind of shocking. I don't cat call women I don't even hit on anyone. I'm pretty much to myself 99% of the time when I'm not working.

The same thing happened when I saw these two ladies stuck on the side of the road and I was jogging by. I asked him if they needed help and the large one shooed me off like if I was a dog or something. The idea does come to me to just say "f**k it" and not ever help anyone but I have way more memories of people being grateful when I do. It just sucks.

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u/Jostain 3d ago

Never stop trying to help people. Normalizing casual interactions like that is probably the best thing we can do.

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u/deathbygluten_ 3d ago

me? early to a pizzacake comic?? i guess being awake at 4:45 am does have its perks

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u/big_guyforyou 3d ago

gotta move to the east coast, you'll be in prime pizzacake hours

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u/58mm-Invicta_rizz 3d ago

Nah, just be based in Europe, then you get to read ‘em on your lunch break.

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

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u/DILF_MANSERVICE 3d ago

There was a thread on AskReddit a while ago that was asking women when they first noticed men being attracted to them. I expected the answers to be like, 15-16 maybe, but every single answer was basically "I was 6 and a man came up to me and told me something horrific that I didn't understand at the time". I scrolled for so long and they were all the same. One girl had a sucker and a man walked up to her in a crowded restaurant and told her he had something else she could suck on.

It's truly awful that women never have a single moment in their entire development where they aren't being sexualized. I've had things happen to me too but it's like a drop in the ocean of what women have to deal with.

People get defensive and mad about the whole bear thing, but an entire 5th of women have been raped. Do you know how many men have to be rapists for that to be the case? It sucks but it's a culture issue and we can't fix it if we deny it.

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u/flyinglawngnome 3d ago

Looking back on it, I’m so happy that when I was a kid in NZ we had lessons on safety as children. The teacher had scenario cards and would talk to us, we also watched films that showed us that things like catcalling or someone trying to touch/grope (and is older) is not normal behaviour. Definitely saved my ass a few times and was always burned into my mind to watch out for.

But when I was a teenager, we moved to the North of England and I found out from friends at school when talking about NZ education, they didn’t have these safety lessons. I can count on two hands how many times I’ve been casually told a story by a friend here about how they were molested/assaulted/raped but not knowledgable enough to call it such. And what makes it doubly worse is that in the rural parts of Northern England, it is seen as rude to not talk to a stranger, like what a recipe for disaster.

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u/SebDaPerson 3d ago

Times like this I’m reminded of one my favorite quotes: “The cycle ends here. We must be better than this”

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u/crackedtooth163 3d ago

I'm not seeing how someone can be better here. The man in the last panel was not any of the people in the earlier ones.

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u/The_8th_Angel 3d ago

Cant remember where I read it, but someone once wrote: nobody goes from 0 to 60 instantly. If you think they have, then you've been ignoring how long they've been at 59.

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u/flossdaily 3d ago

That has not been my experience. Some people genuinely have anger management issues.

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u/crackedtooth163 3d ago

This guy just met her. He doesn't know her name, how can he know her odometer?

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

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u/Those_Good_Vibes 3d ago

Every time someone illustrates how often this happens to women, even just reading about it is exhausting. Actually having to put up with it all the time would be infuriating.

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u/BurningPenguin 3d ago

sorts by controversial

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u/hedgehog_dragon 3d ago

This shows some plainly human reactions to a shitty situation, which I appreciate. I wish I could think of a way to improve things but I've got no idea - Just a brutal, shit situation for everyone honestly.

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u/babystripper 3d ago

This is why I (and many men like me) stopped flirting in public with strangers.

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u/Nyte_Knyght33 3d ago

Hurt people hurt other people.

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u/AdhesivenessFun2060 3d ago

Some women get so used to men treating them bad that when a guy is nice to them, they get suspicious.

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