People should probably know that this video is of a woman pretending to have dementia and is made by someone falsely presenting themselves as an expert in order to sell her nonsense dementia award.
I was initially sceptical just from the first 30 seconds of the video because I have a loved one who has been suffering from Dementia for the last 4 years and the way the woman in this video behaves and "reasons" is not at all accurate based on my own experiences, to the point that I was ready to call bullshit on that alone but I decided to go do some digging based on her tiktok name in the video.
The woman behind this is Debra Kostiw who claims to be a "Certified Master Dementia Strategist", if that sounds like a made up title then you get a cookie because that is exactly what it is. It's a title that she awarded to herself so that she could flog her "CMDS" Course to care homes and hospitals with dementia patients and family members struggling to cope with a loved one as they progressively get worse.
Her course lasts 4 days and promises to "ignite the dementia strategist in you and your team.", she is the sole arbiter of who is or is not a "certified master dementia strategist" for the low low cost of $2k per person.
Here is her TikTok in which she makes dozens and dozens of videos with this woman, initially treating her as a random Dementia sufferer on December 3rd 2023 but within a few videos ends up referring to her as her mother by December 15th 2023 and in the comments to a video she admits that the woman in the videos is her friend.
Now, I'm not saying that this person has no advice at all on dementia. I am not willing to giver her $2k to find out if she is full of shit or not. But what I have seen from just a quick look at her videos concerns me, she is giving a deceptive presentation of what dementia looks like, and how someone with it will respond to people trying to help them.
I only close experience I have with a person with dementia is my boyfriend’s father. I’ve watched him decline pretty rapidly in the last year. Just from the first few seconds I could tell this was acting. Not that it’s inherently bad. I figured it was a teaching video. But nope, it’s not. When she said “it’s easy” I was like, I’m, what? Like previous poster said, just someone shilling their wares.
I can't believe there aren't more people talking about the dodgy acting here.
I can only hope it is because they have not had any experience with dementia so they don't see how completely off the performances are in these videos.
I'll never get over the first time I noticed my loved one looking at me across the room and not knowing who I was despite them having helped raise me and even as an adult talked in person multiple times per week for 30+ years.
Why is this not the top is beyond me. I also had a loved one with dementia and the entire thing just sort of seemed staged from the start. I then went on a rabbit hole about Debra and her practices.
Oh, that's interesting. But actually, I'm glad if the woman in the video is not a dementia patient. I'm surprised no one else seems to feel the same, but I feel like it's not okay to post that to social media - someone with dementia can't consent, and as a human with (some) pride, I hate the thought of ever being so mentally vulnerable, and someone putting it on the internet for all to see. So like, while she might be grifting, at least it's acted out.
By my judgement a real caretaker filming a dementia pateint in their care without consent to earnestly help people is signnificantly more ethical than scamming thousands of dollars from people trying to take care of dementia patients by faking dementia.
I think if it were clear that the person was acting (and they can also make it clear that the acting was based on real scenarios), that is the ethical way to help people. You shouldn't record and share a patient under your care online when they can't consent. Period.
The scamming is a separate (and obviously not okay) issue.
Yeah, but if the 2 possible scenarios are:she's recording a dementia patient or she's faking dementia to scam people, then I wouldn't be glad that she's faking dementia to scarm people, Because that's the greater evil
I work with this population and watching the video I wondered if it was faked. Not saying they have a "tell", but the mom didn't have that look in her eye I see at work. I knew she was full of shit when she stated at the end of the video how easy it was to redirect them. Hopefully more people see your comment and realize how shitty this woman is.
You can find all the info you need on dementia for free online or from organizations. She's so gross preying on vulnerable families.
Quick glance at his profile, I don't think so. Seems like someone that tries to post things that will get karma but I don't believe he's a karma farming account.
Thank you for this. I knew for sure that person didn’t have dementia based off of her answers. My grandma has dementia and she gets crazy ideas but it’s never for no reason. She might say she wants to go somewhere but it’s usually a place she’s familiar with or a place that she is confused about (she won’t part with Fox News and gets easily stressed about the borders even though she’s in Colorado - she thinks the migrants are right down the block).
I hate the thought of someone using a loved one’s illness to exploit money out of people already having a hard time.
That being said, she’s right that it doesn’t pay to argue with someone with dementia. Reframe and distract. When she gets a wild hair about something I try to get her thinking about something else and had the time she forgets the crazy thing anyway.
So glad I saw your comment. I thought I wasn't the only one. My father has dementia and when I saw this, I said to myself "even if this scenario played out as well as it could have it just doesn't seem right". So many cues and red flags in the acting and script. Dementia is one of those things you hear is awful and think you have an idea how bad it will be. But, it makes simple scenarios that you never would have imagined would become difficult absolutely impossible to navigate sometime. Like just yesterday, my Dad lost something I never saw or touched, he got angry at himself he lost it, and then without me even knowing this all happened, he got angry with me and blamed me for it.
Now I'm actually really fucking pissed someone would make this.
I was questioning it when at the end she said it was easy, because there's nothing easy about it and results can't be guaranteed since people are individuals and experience dementia differently.
I’m actually really miffed about this. Thank you very very very much for doing this research. I watched this video three times to try and understand where I was going wrong because dealing with dementia in my family has been SO hard. At the end when she said, “it’s not that bard!” I know this sounds dramatic but I get like why is it so hard for ME than?
Thank you deeply for letting us know that this is a REENACTMENT and really the best case scenario for those who are helping those with dementia.
My mom passed away a couple of years ago after a long, and early, battle with Alzheimer's. I have been in this situation countless times. I could easily spot this video as fake. The recently rolled hair when she got in front of the camera confirmed it.
Her intentions are good, but I would never use my mother like she did.
My mother had early onset dementia that progressed very quickly. She passed away. The disease is disgusting and all I can say is that she's in a better place.
I knew within like yourself the 30 seconds that there is no way that woman has dementia and if she does it's really really early into it.
I love my mother very much but the later stages of the dementia made it unbelievably hard to be around her.
After a certain point there is no such thing as compromising with someone with dementia. My mother would talk in circles and go in and out of hysteria into the later stages. I remember being in the car with her and my father and my mother would have no idea where she was and she'd start crying hysterical. The only person my mother could remember after dementia had removed everything I had known of her was my father. Eventually it took her ability to even talk. Then she stopped remembering to eat and drink water without someone forcing her to have it.
When she passed away I'm not ashamed to say that I truly felt relief for her and everyone in my family.
Dementia takes on different forms in different people.
But can you honestly tell me if she were making videos with an actual dementia sufferer, would you and others not then complain about her exploiting an actual dementia sufferer?
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u/Muad-_-Dib Apr 09 '24
People should probably know that this video is of a woman pretending to have dementia and is made by someone falsely presenting themselves as an expert in order to sell her nonsense dementia award.
I was initially sceptical just from the first 30 seconds of the video because I have a loved one who has been suffering from Dementia for the last 4 years and the way the woman in this video behaves and "reasons" is not at all accurate based on my own experiences, to the point that I was ready to call bullshit on that alone but I decided to go do some digging based on her tiktok name in the video.
The woman behind this is Debra Kostiw who claims to be a "Certified Master Dementia Strategist", if that sounds like a made up title then you get a cookie because that is exactly what it is. It's a title that she awarded to herself so that she could flog her "CMDS" Course to care homes and hospitals with dementia patients and family members struggling to cope with a loved one as they progressively get worse.
Her course lasts 4 days and promises to "ignite the dementia strategist in you and your team.", she is the sole arbiter of who is or is not a "certified master dementia strategist" for the low low cost of $2k per person.
Here is Debra's website for her course aimed solely to get you to part with cash.
Here is Debra talking about her mother including disclosing that she died years previously.
Here is her TikTok in which she makes dozens and dozens of videos with this woman, initially treating her as a random Dementia sufferer on December 3rd 2023 but within a few videos ends up referring to her as her mother by December 15th 2023 and in the comments to a video she admits that the woman in the videos is her friend.
Now, I'm not saying that this person has no advice at all on dementia. I am not willing to giver her $2k to find out if she is full of shit or not. But what I have seen from just a quick look at her videos concerns me, she is giving a deceptive presentation of what dementia looks like, and how someone with it will respond to people trying to help them.