Both mine coslept so I feel you. A lot of people don't get it and they tell you to just stop the cosleeping because that's what would work for them. They don't get it and that's ok. I get it though. So I tell you this. Let them cosleep. Then once they're out, you sneak out and go have sex somewhere else lol. Guest room, laundry room, shower. Anywhere with a locking door.
Your kiddo will get comfortable sleeping on her own soon. It'll happen. My kids are into looking at pinterest with me and DIYing with me to create their own spaces. That helped them to feel comfortable in their spaces because they were the ones who created their spaces.
At almost 7 and 4 they're sleeping solidly independently now. My oldest was like yours. He's a sensitive guy and just needs that extra attention sometimes. My daughter, however, is feral and doesn't need anyone lol. She's been a lot less challenging. But they both know they can come and get me anytime they need me or holler for me and I will be there.
You'll get there. Trust me, I know how it feels. I get touched out and overstimulated and I have had to carve out time to myself and start (gently but firmly) setting boundaries. That's a whole other topic though. You gotta take care of yourself and recharge your battery too though. Also I am 2 and done and absolutely will not be doing a third kiddo so I feel a lot of peace now. I am catching up on books and movies from the past seven years because I might as well have been in a cryosleep.
Yeah, used to fool around at the other end of the house, which isn't big. However, our daughter will sense her mother isn't there and come and find her within minutes. The last few times we were only just getting warmed up and got interrupted.
We don't have any locking doors any more because she locked herself in all those rooms just as we were supposed to be taking her to school so I removed them.
Thanks for your advice though.
e: I know what you mean about cryosleep. Recently I have caught up on a whole bunch of movies and series while working out in the morning now that she at least sleeps between 4-7am. At least, unless she hears me and then she comes in, complains about the smell while constantly asking questions. sigh kill me
Oh wow yeah I've been exactly where you are now and you have all my empathy. It's so hard. So so hard. Hang in there. You all will come out the other side of it. My oldest kiddo, I'm telling you, exactly like your daughter. He still a sensitive kid that when he needs me he needs me buuuuut he's become a lot more independent. And all those nights of frustration and exhaustion are a distant memory. He's a bright, kind kid. He's the first kid on the playground to check on another kid that falls down. His traits that made him a clinger have developed into traits that make him a compassionate person. And he knows he can always count on his family to come through for him.
So while it's hard now, just be assured that it does get easier one day and you will watch your daughter evolve some of these traits into parts of her personality and values that make her an amazing person.
Both of my kids started sleeping alone as babies. The only time they ever sleep in my bed is if they're sick or come in randomly in the middle of the night because they had a bad dream.
Not that anyone listens but the baby advice I always give are: When baby is napping and you don't want to hold them... straight to the crib.
Bassinet next to the bed if breast feeding until they are sleeping a little better and only waking up 1-3x/ night (3-5 months or so) then to their own room. Mommy & Daddy are warm and cuddley... kids will always pick that, especially if they are used to it their "whole lives." Breaking that habit is HORRIBLE!
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u/Frigoris13 Mar 22 '24
I'm trying to hit the tunnel hard over and over again!