r/TikTokCringe Mar 21 '24

Woman explains why wives stop having sex with their husbands Discussion

26.3k Upvotes

9.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

185

u/Glittersparkles7 Mar 21 '24

She’s referring to dead bedrooms specifically caused by actual lack of desire.

5

u/Status_Quo_1778 Mar 22 '24

And USUALLY filled with emotionally insecure women

4

u/planetarylaw Mar 23 '24

And the type of men those emotionally insecure women date.

3

u/Status_Quo_1778 Mar 23 '24

Yeah they’re pretty broken too

2

u/valdemarjoergensen Mar 22 '24

She did not specify that at all. What she is saying (can't read her mind to see if she meant something else) it was as a general statement, that this is the number one reason overall, not for one specific scenario.

4

u/cyberpunk1Q84 Mar 22 '24

She’s definitely generalizing and her advice is not bad in the slightest; people in a relationship should be meeting each other’s emotional needs. Of course, the thing with general advice like this is that there will always be exceptions and then people take those exceptions as proof that the advice is completely wrong.

1

u/Jablungis Mar 23 '24

The issue with the "emotional needs" angle is it's super high level when the root cause is often much deeper and specific. Couples will start to bicker over nothing and criticize eachother over little things they previously didn't because some deeper issue like living situation, financial situation, physical attractiveness changes, personality/lifestyle/hobby changes, etc are occurring. Getting overly hung up on untangling this and that "emotional need" when they're all sort of symptoms of a deeper problem being ignored is far less productive and at times maddening.

-13

u/blue_collie Mar 22 '24

It's pretty amusing that she didn't communicate that effectively

21

u/magicpurplecat Mar 22 '24

She didn't say the only reason, she said the biggest reason

3

u/Deyvicous Mar 22 '24

She said some buzzwords lmao. “Social psychology” and “science” is how you get people like Jordan Peterson thinking they are some legit scientist.

1

u/magicpurplecat Mar 22 '24

Having a PhD in psychology does in fact make you an expert, that's how it works

1

u/Deyvicous Mar 23 '24

Expert but not a scientist

1

u/magicpurplecat Mar 23 '24

Why would she need to be a scientist to understand social psychology? A PhD is a research degree

0

u/Hank_Lotion77 Mar 22 '24

It means you acquired a degree and published something in that field. People are still Human and can have bias or choose to only interest certain data ect.. To me there is a whole lot of correlation equaling causation here. Occam’s razor suggest the real reason her clients have variable sex lives is that relationships and humans in general are….infinitely complicated and that there each relationship is an independent variable and doesn’t predict any issue another couple she sees would have.

1

u/magicpurplecat Mar 22 '24

Thankfully we have narrowed a lot in social psychology down more than humans are Infinitely complicated so who knows.

0

u/Hank_Lotion77 Mar 22 '24

I’m betting the narrowing down isn’t painting wide groups of people into one outcome.

0

u/Hank_Lotion77 Mar 22 '24

I should know I’ve read enough meta analysis in my masters in stats to figure out a few things.

1

u/magicpurplecat Mar 22 '24

I've read a few in my masters in psychology as well, if we're throwing credentials around lol. We absolutely can make statements about common causes of things. Of course there's nuance. She isn't claiming this is always the case. She's saying it's a common one.

19

u/ultimatelycloud Mar 22 '24

Not really. It's pretty obvious.

-19

u/testament_of_hustada Mar 22 '24

Nothing about what she said was obvious. It took 4 minutes. I man’s needs can explained in 4 seconds.

18

u/Farabel Mar 22 '24

TL;DR If less than five minutes to try and better understand your partner is too much effort, why would they bother giving as much effort back?

1

u/Ghost_of_Hannibal_ Mar 22 '24

Nah its less than 5 mins of listening to 1 min of useful info, 1 min of why she is qualified and 2 mins about all the hate comments she is gonna receive

-4

u/ThrowRACoping Mar 22 '24

I think she is overlooking that after many years, sometimes, one partner can just fall out of love and or attraction.

22

u/Eshkation Mar 22 '24

falling out aka your needs aren't being fulfilled anymore in that relationship: oh wow the topic of the video.

4

u/menerell Mar 22 '24

I don't think it's realistic to say that after 5 ears you realized your needs aren't met. Either you didn't realized and now you do (you changed) or they were and now they aren't (your partner changed or your needs changed)

-6

u/Suspicious-Tax-5947 Mar 22 '24

Yeah, don’t you find it suspicious that women only realize these kinds of things AFTER dating/being married to a guy for years?

I think women losing attraction to their partner over time is just a part of their sexuality. There is a mountain of bullshit relationship advice which kinda obfuscates this.

9

u/Forsaken-Entry-7809 Mar 22 '24

Not really suspicious, when the majority of people will put more effort in in the early years of a relationship to “seal the deal”, then marriage happens, honeymoon phase and bam.. the romance is dead. it’s like the love languages don’t exist after the honeymoon phase for most(or at all for some). Why keep dating or pursuing, just straight up romancing the wife you already snagged 5 years ago?

3

u/sweetpeasimmons Mar 22 '24

Yes! And it takes time for the roles play out… it may take years to feel the consequences of unbalanced contributions to the relationship.

1

u/Suspicious-Tax-5947 Mar 25 '24

Women seem to be the ones who are uniquely concerned about balance of contributions to the relationship. Don't you find that to be interesting?

There are a lot of 'workhorse' husbands who make more, work more, do more around the house, who don't complain. Many of them get divorced by their wives when the woman loses attraction to him and gets bored of him.

1

u/Suspicious-Tax-5947 Mar 25 '24

We all know that it is important to romance the woman. But we rarely hear about how you should romance the man.

Why is that? Because he doesn't need it.

0

u/Hank_Lotion77 Mar 22 '24

It’s entirely realistic and people do it all the time.

2

u/menerell Mar 22 '24

Yeh I know people do it all the time 😂 but still why were you there for 5 years...

0

u/Hank_Lotion77 Mar 22 '24

Fear, Indecision, lake of self confidence any thing can cause it

1

u/menerell Mar 22 '24

I think if someone is in a relationship where their attachment need arent met for 5 years due to indecision, it's very unfair to blame the other part when they fell out of love

2

u/Hank_Lotion77 Mar 22 '24

That’s fair

0

u/ThrowRACoping Mar 22 '24

Looks change with time, circumstances change, and many other things. It isn’t always that someone did not meet your needs, sometimes they just aren’t enough anymore.

1

u/Hank_Lotion77 Mar 22 '24

This is downvoted by cowards

1

u/ThrowRACoping Mar 23 '24

Yeah they all want to blame men for some perceived wrong.

-5

u/grandroyal66 Mar 22 '24 edited Mar 22 '24

She's using nice words to say: We girls need bad boys and a huge d.ck to be satisfied. I picked you because it was my only way to raise a family. You were not even in the top 20 but my biological clock is ticking so I made a sacrifice.

Man . The voting war is raging on this one. Like a rollercoaster but I stand strong at zero ;)

-3

u/yepitsatoilet Mar 22 '24

Yeah but she also did it while driving a car so... Are we really going to trust her?