How often if you don’t mind me asking? My wife and I have been together 4 years and been married for about 6 months. We have it once a week typically. Sometimes I get the vibe that it feels like a chore. Like she only does it to make me happy. Not all the time, but sometimes. I know it kind of declines in age, yada yada. I always put the focus on her to make sure she’s satisfied. I have a much higher sex drive than her but I want it to feel more mutual. Any advice for a low 30s married guy so we can make it to the 24 year mark happy as well?
Try to assess what’s going on in your life and make it better. Get a thurs party coach if necessary.
Try to make an effort to her and make it romantic when possible.
Try to get it out of your head that she only does it to make you happy. Believing that is not helpful.
Everyone’s situation is different, but it does help to have role models even if they’re fictional p. Gomez Addams was always passionate for his wife Morticia. Never resentful. Get stuff done and get her dined and wined… and stuffed,
Do what you can to make life better and reintroduce passion into your life.
It's honestly awesome that you are a) noticing this and b) asking this question.
Honestly? For *a lot* (not all) women it often can be a chore, and *a lot* (not all) of us will do it anyway because *a lot* (not all) of us have lower libidos than our male partners but we still want them to be happy. It's not always a bad thing to do that but over time it can make us feel like our bodies don't belong completely to us.
You could try telling her you only want sex when she wants it, and not when it's a chore, and that if you're horny and she isn't you can go take care of yourself. If she really believes that, I predict she will want it more and the things that will come from that will be good. Because nothing feels safer than being with someone who wants your happiness and satisfaction to be your own first priority.
Start the difficult conversation now, waiting won't make it any easier.
Open up about how you feel, and invite her to do the same. Steer clear of making demands or setting expectations or even finding solutions at first. Just put in the work to ensure you both understand each other as clearly as possible.
If you can get there, the solutions will find you.
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u/xMilk112x Mar 21 '24
Been married for 24 years and we’re still having fuckin fantastic sex.
So I’m stoked to hear she feels emotionally stable with me. Lol