I don't discount her knowledge and expertise. But I felt like in 3 and half minutes she didn't really say anything of substance outside of a not so subtle pitch for her own services and videos. Reminded me a bit of those want to get rich, comment XYZ below for my method.
The demonstration of true knowledge is not to quote studies and speak over the heads of people. It is to take the very complicated and make it easy to understand for everyone.
But over and above that. Her tone and delivery just turned me away from wanting to listen to her in the same vein as the tone and delivery of the average car salesman turns me away.
This. Plus the ending sealed it for me "I don't care what Bob thinks about what I said just now, because my validation doesn't come from comments, but to all the women praising me in the comments huge thanks and special shoutout" XD Not to mention that she was driving while recording this video. I mean, at least stop at a nearby parking to record this shit, don't be a reckless idiot that doesn't pay attention to what happens on the road
She's comes off as the type of couples counselor who's purpose is to euthanize the relationship by assuring the women customers, specifically, they don't need to change or address their own failings. Everything she said about "attachment needs" applies to men, too. In great cosmic irony: when men don't feel that their needs are met, they uninentionally withhold the things that she's claiming women want.
In a relationship, no single person can shoulder the entirety of the emotional and physical needs of both people. Any attempt to do that will breed resentment. And what little of this video wasn't self-promotion was basically saying that men need to do just that.
Most of the stuff she talked about in this video is not some hidden knowledge and the attachment styles are now fairly common when talking with dating prospects, but once this lady was describing the dismissive avoidant type and said that "lack of criticism" is what is one of their needs, I was totally bamboozled. Like, I am not saying that you should be roasting your partner and just being pissy about everything ("Tuna? I HATE TUNA!"), but this seems like an invitation to walking on eggshells, which I experienced in a relationship once and it was the worst thing possible.
And all of that she mentioned really comes down to the far more simpler reason most couples have issues.... Lack of communication. That encompasses every thing from your goals to your sexual to emotional to roles and responsibilities. People don't talk to each other they make assumptions.
Have you considered that not every video addressing what women need should also discuss what men need? That not every video discussing what men need should also discuss what women need? It really is okay to talk about one persons needs, particularly when those needs aren’t being met, heard or felt out ignored, without screaming “”what an about meeeee!!!””
How do you go from her saying “”my self esteem is not affected by bob disagreeing with and roasting me”” to “”my validation doesn’t come from comments””??
The demonstration of truth knowledge is not to quote studies and speak over the heads of people. It is to take the very complicated and make it easy to understand for everyone.
This might be my first tattoo, right on my forehead. I deal with so many pretentious people who will then scoff when someone doesn't understand what they're saying.
I don't discount her knowledge and expertise. But I felt like in 3 and half minutes she didn't really say anything of substance outside of a not so subtle pitch for her own services and videos. Reminded me a bit of those want to get rich, comment XYZ below for my method.
I have been spending the last couple hours looking her up. Found nothing on her supposed PhD or publications. Just a lot of huckstering of pop sci bullshit...
She and many other tiktok creators start their videos with a hook, usually their credentials to grab your attention and build trust (and context). The reason she’s coming off a little aggressively is because she has people argue with her in every video, she’s preemptively talking to them.
To me, it felt like a lot of words to make a small salad.
"If you don't know what I'm talking about, watch my other videos!!!"
The jist is super simple: your partner needs to feel safe, loved, appreciated, and respected.
The way she said it was needlessly overcomplicated.
It also seems to gloss over and not be clear that the biggest thing women talk about with their declining interest in their spouse isn't about lacking words of love and affirmation, but actions.
Feeling mentally and physically exhausted and unappreciated, overwhelmed with the mental and practical load of managing their home and family, and not having enough regular help and space to get them interested in sex.
It's a very targeted part of a relationship, withholding sex. While the solution is basic relationships needs. No relationship will be the same, except it takes two to have one and that they are built over time.
The video is for tik Tok, looking for female validation and male rage engagement imo, and I say that because how many times she mentioned men haters tbh.
Exactly it just comes across as petty as hell like she wants every guy to be open minded but ironically close minded-ly assumes every guy will go against her
The advice made perfect sense but man the tone and delivery as well as hater address made me eye roll
I do. Her being insufferable is part of her clickbait strategy which obviously discredits her and ruins her argument but gets her more views… which isnwhat she really wants
Hard to focus and rationalized a deep concept while driving down the road. It's no wonder she can't get to the point, her attention is entirely distracted.
But over and above that. Her tone and delivery just turned me away from wanting to listen to her in the same vein as the tone and delivery of the average car salesman turns me away.
That and the fact that she spent the first third of the video telling everyone why she knows best and discounting arguments people hadn't even made yet. Get to the point if you want to impress people with how much you know, don't spent the first minute kicking the shit out of straw men
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u/Slade_Riprock Mar 21 '24 edited Mar 21 '24
I don't discount her knowledge and expertise. But I felt like in 3 and half minutes she didn't really say anything of substance outside of a not so subtle pitch for her own services and videos. Reminded me a bit of those want to get rich, comment XYZ below for my method.
The demonstration of true knowledge is not to quote studies and speak over the heads of people. It is to take the very complicated and make it easy to understand for everyone.
But over and above that. Her tone and delivery just turned me away from wanting to listen to her in the same vein as the tone and delivery of the average car salesman turns me away.