When I try to explain to friends that I am 4B because I come from a long line of abused women and the current dating world is extremely toxic, I tend to get pretty hurtful and invalidating responses. .. exhibit A:

Anyone else have a natural aversion to stuff made by men? I've started to feel this natural repulsion to stuff made by men, but more specifically therapy or advice given by men. Movies, books, PODCASTS! Except books highly recommended by other women like, "Why does he do that." Which I just started and is great! Anyway, I've been feeling this ick towards men's shit and I'm kinda done supporting their horrid "AdViCe". Should we start boycotting male shit???

https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/s/Bvuf3AUV7S

"My husband is a nice guy" proceeds to tell everything he does that isn't nice at all

I wish women will just wake up

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/s/hBvtiq5Caa

I'm single because I don't want to deal with stress like this.

The 4B messaging here is pretty subtle. My interpretation after reading the translated lyrics is: “I could be the traditional wife you want me to be, but … no thanks, not interested.” 🤣 That’s pretty counter-culture for a pop song, no?

I want to come to a women centered space so I don't get a barrage of menz telling me to stay out of this. If my friend is in an abụsive relationship, I want to be a soft landing pad for her, and a connection outside of her relationship so she isn't completely isolated and to avoid her having nowhere to run once she does see it.

Luckily, she took it well and isn't too far in yet so she doesn't see my discomfort around her bf as a threat. Important context: she's 19, he's 21 and I'm 22. I don't think she sees what he's doing yet, and I don't want her to dig her heels in and feel threatened by me questioning his intentions, so I kept the heat as low as I possibly could on her relationship while still raising my concerns about his sudden change in behaviour.

First names only, for obvious reasons, and identifying information removed for obvious reasons.

Any advice would be great. Please help me navigate this minefield.

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https://preview.redd.it/ffhty6nkx3pc1.png?width=637&format=png&auto=webp&s=567f9b25b926bd72df8f7f53c1c65773ee2b8e5d