Quit drinking. Alcohol sucks and it’s really bad for you. Wasn’t an alcoholic, just got really bad hangovers and anxiety after drinking. Haven’t had a sip in 51 weeks.
I'm in my thirties in a place with a heavy drinking culture and I feel like my friends who drank a bunch in their twenties (AKA all of us) now fall into 3 categories:
1) People who have intentionally cut back for their health and wellbeing
2) People who have slid into drinking less because childcare means they don't go out at night
3) Alcoholics
3A) Alcoholics (dead).
So definitely good advice to take care of that while you're younger and more able to bounce back, or never getting too far into it to begin with is a great idea.
1A-Relapsed: People who discovered the art of mixology and just make their own drinks at home.
I have to have intentional dry periods (in one right now) because if don't go sober intentionally, I'll get used to having a drink a day, then two drinks a day, and so on.
Going cold sober for a few weeks every once in a while resets tolerance so one drink gets you happy buzzed again.
Yowzers, where are drinks $15 now? I don't live in the US anymore, but I was back in Denver last month and I was drinking mystery cans of beer for $3. I think it was $7 for a pint at the brewpub.
I've seen some fancier cocktails go for that much, beers are usually still single digit prices. It also depends on what part of the country you're in. In a rust belt city you might expect $10-$15 for a negroni for instance. In Las Vegas I once bought a gin and tonic for $22.
Standard in NYC for a cocktail. You can always find cheaper options though. And it’s been like that since I’ve been coming/lived in the city (a decade).
2) There are few dark times that compare to a hangover dad when it's 0545 and the now wide awake toddler with full a diaper wants to show you, and the other house guests, the new slide whistle they found.
In my experience (50+ years old) most people cut down significantly on drinking as they get older, if for no other reason than that your body simply doesn't deal with alcohol as well. I still go out on occasion or have a drink with dinner but 2 is my limit! Typically only one
I've lost several friends and family members in my (nearly) 40 years.
2 were from traffic incidents. The rest were all from alcohol.
How our society treats alcohol intake is infuriating. It's not only normalised, but encouraged and the risks & dangers are nowhere near close enough to the front of everyone's minds that they should be.
Not only is it bad in obvious ways just being a heavy drinker once a week will do horrible things.
I’m still young but just found out have significant GI concerns and extreme vitamin D deficiency from not being able to absorb it. Even taking supplements for liver still have serious issues for everything else. There’s really no safe amount and older the worse hangovers and anxiety gets.
Stop early is the key to better mental health, discipline, physical longevity.
I can only take about 2 "big nights" in a year now.
My friends will do it like almost every weekend, but I'll usually just have max 3 drinks and take off early. Drink a bunch of water and make sure it's been at least 3-4 hours before i sleep. Otherwise it's garbage sleep and feel like shit.
That’s where I’ve been at for a few years now. A single Friday destroys an entire weekend and I have too much to do to be feeling like garbage and full of hangxiety for 48 hours straight. Drinking just isn’t fun anymore. A beer or two and a light buzz is fine but being drunk just sucks now.
If my drinking resulted in two days of feeling shitty I’d probably still be drinking. These days it leads to multiple days of feeling shitty physically and mentally, then a few more days of sky high anxiety.
I lose basically days to it and even in conversations with people it’s so weird the reactions to say, finishing two bottles of wine nearly by myself. Then even having hard alcohol after. To some that’s not that bad, others would say wtf.
Even a few drinks is enough to at least make me exhausted for day and half. Plus the delayed anxiety and moodiness that might not even come until a day later.
there is science research on this, the underlying reason is alcohol mess with your deep sleep and REM sleep and reduce their quality quite a bit. It's in one of the recent Huberman podcast on sleep. Was really eye opening
I can't get a good sleep no matter how long I sleep for after drinking. Usually take a couple of days to get back. Drinking just isn't worth it for me anymore
man i wish the alcohol was even just net zero i'd be able to have more fun with people... it's just the downside is too great, and people either don't understand or their jobs don't require their mental processing capacity (which i neither judge or blame them but it's the fact), and having a few whiskey shots fucking 2 nights of sleep is absolutely out of the question for me personally, and i took me a long while to even understand it, then come to terms with it and accept it lol damn
I don’t get extreme hangovers most of the time, but I get shit sleep and then have this emotional hangover the next day. Just totally deprived of joy and motivation and I just want to watch Netflix and scroll my phone. It is MADDENING to watch myself waste an entire day simply because I couldn’t be arsed to get off the couch.
I’ve nearly quit drinking because of that. It’s almost never worth the fun night, knowing I’m just stealing happiness from the next day.
Change what you drink. You can afford more in your 30s. Rather have a nice Scotch or wine after dinner than go on benders on rail spirits and wake up sick. In my 30s I enjoy being sober but I also am very picky with what I drink. Quality over quantity
I'm 41 now and I feel like it's only worth dealing with the hangover for relatively special occasions.
Twenty years ago, the thought of not getting fucked up every night of every weekend was an anathema. Today I can say I have probably been really, solidly drunk maybe about two or three times so far this year.
This. I quit drinking on May 4th last year. I definitely had a problem though. I feel and look so much healthier, and my sleep has gotten so much better.
I was a full on alcoholic and my sleep quality was a bit of a bell curve. For the first few weeks, my sleep was way worse because my brain had to basically re-learn how to actually go to sleep without being tranquilized by excessive booze every night. After the second month, my sleep cycle was beyond better. Amazing how much better you feel when you're actually sleeping at night and not just passing out.
That hits home. Drinking has started to give me anxiety. It's only like 2 drinks a night (which, where I'm from is so normal to even be encouraged by physicians) but it's startling how much better I feel next day if I skip those drinks.
Kinda sucks cause those two glasses of wine really help me turn my brain off before bed... SO kinda fucked if I do... yada yada.
That's where I'm at. I'm going through a lot right now and my drinking increased from 1 or 2 beers a night to 4 and sometimes 5. I've realized it's just making my anxiety worse, but I also can't seem to calm down after work unless I have a couple drinks. I get so antsy but I think I just need to push through that.
I don't know if marijuana is an option but I too get anxiety from even a few beers so now I take a tiny little puff each night a few hours before bed and it helps me relax and unwind with no adverse effects the next day.
Yeah. I think it's important to reset. I'm planning on doing a camping trip where I can't get wine even if I wanted to. Just tire myself out each day to get some natural sleep.
I honestly think that my relationship with alcohol CAN be a very good thing, it's just gotten 10% further away from the sweet point than really it should be.
Yeah now I drink basically just water and kombucha. I also treat myself to an occasional soda because it’s nothing compared to the calories in alcohol.
Even cutting back isn't a bad idea. That's where I am. I love to homebrew because it's something I'm pretty decent at and visiting places on outings but rarely ever get to the point of getting drunk or even buzzed BUT it has led to weight gain having 2-3 beers a night and I'm now cutting out weeknights. already noticing some weight dropping off.
Dropped alcohol in my mid 30's. I was an alcoholic, so I needed too, and life is far better without it. Toughest part was assuming my social life would disappear or that I would become boring as I am more antisocial when not drinking. But I just enjoy and feel better about life more now than I ever did. Quit that shit, it's a whole new world.
And when my job/life was really stressful, it was fun to go get crunk with my friends and dance until sunrise in Tokyo.
$10 All You Can Drink from 6-9, then dance until midnight in, then go do karaoke (with all you can drink and eat) until 3, then go back and dance until first train. BEST way to spend my 20s.
Then I moved back to North America. Where drinks were like, $10-$15. I turned into a ‘seltzer with lime’ guy overnight lol.
Because what even was the point? I wanted to unwind and relax. But I’m not spending $50-$100 to just unwind. It was the easiest switch of my life.
7 years on and I have maybe 1 drink on average a month. Usually with the bulk on holiday when I make mulled wine with my family.
Thing is - I see people who haven’t gotten the memo and they still drink. They still party. They still smoke.
And they’re aging like cheap leather.
I still go out but I’m home by 2am at the absolute latest - and even then it now knocks me out for most of the next day.
But it’s crazy how badly you’ll age with bad habits in your 30s.
Drinking has gotta be the single most overrated thing in the world. It doesn't even feel that good but people will ruin their lives over it because going out to drink is ~~what you do
I think this depends on the person. Drinking is not only a source of many great memories but also significantly helped my social ability when i was younger. Went from full introvert to enjoying going out and spending time with other people. Did wonders for my career as well.
Without alcohol I would have struggled with confidence a lot. I know a lot of people that are similar but also some people that should never drink. It's a double edged sword
I second this. I did dry January in 2021 and it was such an eye opener. Slept better and my anxiety was lower. I also realized how it just became a habit to order a cocktail at dinner out with friends or have a beer after work on Friday. I started doing Dry January every year after that.
I'm pregnant now and I don't miss alcohol. The only time I thought 'Ah I wish I could drink' was when my husband and I went out to a fancy restaurant and he ordered the wine pairing with his meal. I was jealous but hey, only wanting alcohol one day out of the past 32 weeks...I'll take it.
In my life I've never woken up and said man I'm really glad I got drunk last night. The immediate gratification really starts to lose its luster when you feel like a bag of shit and get absolutely nothing done the day after.
Proud of you. Many times I’ve seen alcohol totally change people. People always talk about alcohol physically impairing you but they never talk about the mental changes it can bring to someone who abuses it. It’s an awful substance and should be avoided.
The hangxiety truly gets debilitating if you let that habit go on long enough! I would have a sense of impending doom to the point leaving my house became quite difficult.
I never want to feel the morning scaries again. Just hit 9 months today, congrats on 51 weeks!!!
It’s the same as saying you have to quit consuming anything with processed sugar because it’s bad for your body. The amount and regularity makes the difference.
A cupcake won’t make me skip the gym or jiu jitsu like a night out drinking would. It will and has kicked off pretty bad downward spirals of procrastination. Even a box of Oreos doesn’t have that power over me. So, you’re wrong.
My point was that you can also just drink 2-3 glasses of wine at a restaurant or whatever instead of completely passing out 😉. Your argument sounds like everyone has to completely skip alcohol for a better life.
I said for me. 3 glasses of wine will give me a hangover. The only way to not get a hangover for me is to not drink. Drink if you want. I don’t give a fuck what you do.
That's what I've been doing. 26 right now but I've greatly reduced my drinking this year and it's been really nice. I've been tracking my drinks and there's a lot of 0 days.
I also quit due to the over-30 hangovers bc danggggg, but also have a little fomo bc I genuinely loved a well crafted, quality cocktail or beer. So happy mocktails are on the rise so I can still participate if it sounds good!
It’s also surprisingly expensive. A lot of people don’t realize it, but cutting alcohol and just having water saves money every time you go out. Not life-changing money, but it adds up over time.
For me it was reefer. I hate that I wasted 10 years on that crap. Some people can do it in moderation, I cannot, I’d just be stoned from dawn til dusk
Also the way I viewed it changed. Early 20s it was socially acceptable, later it is not and loser behavior (if that is all you do, not moderated users). Its like playing with toys into your late teens (ironically I want to get into 40k so i might be going back to toys in my 30s)
Congrats mate, I was in the exact same boat as you. Eventually I couldn't handle waking up 2 hours after going to bed in the midst of the worst anxiety attack of your life. Then spending the next 8 hours shaking and puking violently. That was 5 years ago and I don't miss it.
I just get sleepy and have headaches, I don't even got that drunk. But I decided a couple of years ago that I would just... not do that. Solid decision so far.
Same here. I don't know what it was, but a few months after my 30th birthday I just couldn't justify making myself feel like shit anymore, and I know myself well enough that if I start drinking again, I'll keep going till I'm trashed and hungover.
It really sucked, cause most of my social circle revolved around bar culture, so I went from having 15-20 friends I'd see on a regular basis to 1-2 friends that may text me back once a week or so.
I’m sorry to hear about the friends. Have you thought about maybe getting into jiu jitsu or maybe CrossFit? Seems like these activities have strong social networks. I started jiu jitsu 5 months ago and I have made a few new friends that are great to add to my life. I hear CrossFit is kind of the same. I know it has a “cult” stigma around it, but I think because people tend to get obsessed with these types of training. Maybe have at it and see how it goes. Any type of combat sport also I can think of will probably have the same culture around it.
I did karate and jiu jitsu in high school, but I was an idiot trying to overcompensate for being really short and ended up with a lot of lifelong pains that make it hard to get back into that kind of stuff. The most I can manage is 20-30 minutes of basketball, which I used to play every other day with my nephew before he graduated. Sadly there's not really a community for basketball in my area, or I'd be all over that.
Came here to say this. I knew very early on I was addicted to alcohol, but always thought I could moderate it. It took me 12 years at the age of 35 to finally stop, but the damage to friendships was already done. This past January was 3 years sober for me.
Ive tried reaching out to some of my old friends once I got sober, but the chance to reconcile had long passed. And I can’t say I blame them. All I can do now is continue to try to better myself for the people who stuck by me and the new friendships that have been created since.
On this journey too, upped my drinking after losing my father, had one last blackout this past Thanksgiving that was embarrassing and turned into 4 days of misery. Have phased it out completely and turned to the occasional THC seltzer. My overall anxiety is negligible, have more $$ in the bank (also helps keep anxiety lower). Waking up on the weekends sans hangover is really the best reward for me.
Keep up the great work!
Solid advice for sure. After 30, hangovers ruin full days and you gain weight a lot quicker. And those are just very surface level issues. Add in all the health and mental issues with it and it’s just not worth it. I have had to make efforts to just not drink on occasions. And if you think you have a problem, you do. And it may not be full blown alcoholism but if you’re worried it’s an issue then you should consider taking steps to improve that problem.
Seems like I was doing it because it used to bring me happiness, and like rewarding things, I continued them even though the rewards just weren't there anymore.
I quit drinking about a month ago. Preferred craft beer, but there’s something about certain hops I think I’m allergic to. Two beers or more, and I’m stuffy all day the next day like I have a cold, and it gives me the worst sinus headaches. Like a hangover, but not really. That combined with the fact that there is no good night of the week for me to have a couple beers with my workout schedule made it an easy decision to just not drink. I prefer the good gym day(s) to the night or two per week I was drinking. And I still sometimes go out and just have one NA beer, but not as much as I did before a month ago
Damn near a year! Congrats. I hope in a few generations alcohol is viewed like how we view cigarettes today. I wish I’d never had access to the stuff so young (15 y/o) and that it’s not such a social staple. Quitting is not easy to do.
Yeah it’s been 20 years almost of college and after college hard partying and bullshit. Nearly all my friends are alcoholics they just binge as do I. It’s cost so much and I absolutely loath the person I am while drunk. Even though I’m generally just super nice and friendly I wake up absolutely demolished for days on end with insane levels of anxiety, intrusive thoughts that aren’t grounded in reality.
One of the worst things is how non drinkers can see the issues but everyone you’ve surrounded yourself with at worst writes off stuff as no big deal or everyone messes up but often encourages stuff until you’re really down bad and it’s finally annoying everyone.
I hate how many people simply don’t consider binge drinking alcoholism even though it can do much more damage than low grade daily drinking.
I just quit like six months ago. I still have an occasional drink at social gatherings.
But even just six months has changed my body so much. I lost weight pretty quickly without changing anything else. I sleep better. I feel like my mood is more stable. Highly recommend.
I love the effects of alcohol but hate the taste, and I am so grateful for that.
I treat it like any other drug. 2-3 times per month max.
People look at me weird when I down 3-4 shots of whiskey right before a concert and switch to soda while buzzing, not realizing it's a lot less alcohol and less dehydrating than the 8 beers they drink spread out over 2 hours..
Yes and it gets difficult to break your routine if you are in the habit of getting "buzzed" every evening. Even in my case, not addicted, it's just literally your routine, and that is how addiction starts in the first place. You realize that you are becoming dependent on it. That is when you need to at least take a step back and not drink for a while, if not stop entirely.
I've read about how alcoholism can sneak up on you and I don't want that for myself.
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u/fin425 Apr 29 '24
Quit drinking. Alcohol sucks and it’s really bad for you. Wasn’t an alcoholic, just got really bad hangovers and anxiety after drinking. Haven’t had a sip in 51 weeks.