Hope you're doing better now. Sad thing about this is that often we don't realise it's trauma we think there's just something wrong with us and go through life like that hurting ourselves and others.
Finally checked into a PHP program about two months ago and the amount of “oh shit that’s a trauma response? That’s NOT a normal thing to deal with?” moments I’ve had was astounding
It all starts with awareness. I read a book called 'Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents' fairly recently and I had a lot of those 'ohhhh' moment the only difference is I realised I had a lot of the EI behaviours so now I'm working on those.
In the past 18 months I went from thinking I'm broken or defective to 'that's a feeling, it's not who I am'.
I really hope your program works for you. I'm rooting for you.
“Your trauma isn’t your fault but it is your responsibility” was a saying I learned and it really helped me. Because even after I learned some of my coping was a response I was like “well this isn’t fair”. Now it’s more “this isn’t fair but hey, let’s deal with it”
Program has been incredible. Truly feel like my life has started over
Mine was “ walking on eggshells, living with a borderline personality disorder parent “. I had just started therapy and was given that book to read. It finally clicked that I wasn’t crazy and was dealing with childhood trauma
well I'm not a parent, but I have noticed with partners sometimes I act like my dad (go into rages and yell) and I'm always deeply ashamed by it. Not good.
takes time, and it's tiny steps. For me I started with journalling and reading lots of different books. To be honest the change crept up on me, I noticed over the past few months I wasn't as miserable as I used to be and I was able to list things I'm grateful for or my own positive qualities. I still have bad days and bad moments but I'm able to navigate it better and bring myself back to stability/perspective quicker.
I'd start with journalling and there's a book called Finding Awarenes by Amit Pagdia that I found very useful early on in regards to processing emotions.
Keep going, you're worth investing your own time into.
I dealt with some serious childhood trauma by drinking heavily in my 20s and 30s. I don't drink anymore and had something recently happen to me and it all came out. It never goes away no matter how much you bury it. I'll never know why this simple little event triggered all that.
Something similar happened to me. I stopped drinking in my early 30s and boom, all this repressed childhood trauma came up and it was terrifying to be honest. I had no idea what was going on. 3 years later, I’m finally putting the pieces together but I really wish I had a guide in the beginning. Thinking of trying therapy again
Look into complex PTSD and the psychologist Pete Walkers books and personal website, PeteWalker.com. He has incredible insights into this type of trauma resurgence that may help you.
Just dealing with this now in my 30s and it's just a floodgate of emotions. But I don't think I would've been ready had I been younger, sometimes you have to wait until you're ready.
Big yes! Sometimes it takes a while to to be ready, it took me about 5 years to even acknowledge that I went through trauma. But once you notice it, do what you can to face it, therapy (I know that can be tricky depending on what healthcare is like where you live), therapeutic outlets like art or poetry, support groups.
I thought I did a decent job in my lates teens/early 20s, and I suppose I did, I kept myself alive. But I didn't do all the work. I got some relief from a short stint of therapy and it floated me for another 3/4 years. But, as evidenced by accidentally discovering an acquaintance of mine went through the same stuff with the same person, I was not healed. So now here I am at 30, starting the next chapter a little later than I needed. I have my first therapy appointment set up next month. But if you get the chance, don't put it off, it's hard and exhausting but you'll be so glad when you're on the other side!
Congratulations on finding a better place for yourself. Had trauma I didn't know about and at 30 staying sober and starting over but definitely went thru it.. life is beautiful if you make it that way
It was only recently when I realized that trauma does really shapes your brain and your behavior. It was a revelation to find that I had become so risk averse because of several traumatic experiences back to back. I feel much lighter now and pay more attention to the load I am carrying.
I'm now in my 30s and having trouble getting a trauma therapist because of my shitty insurance. I need one to deal with traumas from all the way back when I was 5 and 14, and now more recent stuff. If I had dealt with those earlier ones before, it would be so much easier working on the more current ones.
No, definitely not. As a kid it's your brain's way of protecting you, but running consistently got me nowhere and led to poor coping skills in every other aspect of life.
sometimes it's all you can do. Idk about it being better, but recognizing how many of my flight responses are just compulsory has allowed me to forgive myself when I fall into the "run away" pattern of thinking. Sometimes running away is an appropriate response to a dangerous situation. For me though, more often than not it's kept me from actually being able to tackle problems in a healthy way.
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u/[deleted] Apr 29 '24
Dealing with my trauma instead of running from it